List of Jerry Seinfeld's Girlfriends

Name Actress Description & Quotes Episode Season
Elaine Benes Julia Lois Dryfus Jerry's Ex-Girlfriend
"We used date, but now we're just friends."
All but The Pilot Seasons 1
through 9
Vanessa Lynn Clark Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim & Taft The Stakeout
The Stock Tip
Season 1
Marlene Tracy Kolis George's Ex-girlfriend
"Ya know Jerry.. I dunno...."
The Ex-Girlfriend Season 2
Donna Gretchen German The Dockers Ad Girl
"Are those Cotton Dockers?"
The Phone Message Season 2
Isabel Tawny Kitaen Miss Crop Circles The Nose Job Season 3
Gina Gina Gallego Martine's Girlfriend
"Tell me about these Stooges."
"You're NOT a man!"
The Suicide Season 3
Angela Melinda McGraw The Hit and Run Girl
"Now you listen to me, suck face! You tell anybody, anything, and I will carve my initials in your brain tissue!"
The Good Samaritan Season 3
Nina West Catherine Keener The Artist
"I don't know what you expect to find out there, Jerry, you know what you want better than me. But there's one thing I do know. I know I can stand here watching you destroy everything I've ever wanted in my life, wanting to smash your face with my fists, because you won't make even the slightest effort to offer happiness and still know that I love you. You mean so much to me that I'm willing to take all your abuse and insults and insensitivity." ~ Neil Simon's Chapter 2
The Letter Season 3
Naomi Jessica Lundy The Elmer Fudd Laugher
GEORGE: (on answering machine) Jerry, it's George. Hey, hey are you all set foe the week end. This is going to be great. You're going to have a great time with Naomi. All right, you know she's got that laugh. What did you say? It's like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer?
The Wallet
The Bubble Boy
Season 4
Sandra Lisa Malkiewicz Elaine's Employee Who Chatted Too Long With Jerry
"You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?"
The Cheever Letters Season 4
Marla Jane Leeves Marla The Virgin
"Here's what I'm proposing. We eliminate all this. The hangers, the bar, the shelves. And in its place install a series of hooks. We'll put everything on hooks."
The Virgin
The Contest
Season 4
Tia Jennifer Campbell The Calvin Klein's "Ocean" Model
"I've never met a man who knew so much about nothing."
The Airport
The Pick
Season 4
Sidra Teri Hatcher The Fake Boobs
"They're real, and they're spectacular..."
The Implant Season 4
Delores Susan Walters Mulva
Delores: You don't know my name, do you?
Jerry: Yes I do.
Delores: What is it?
Jerry: It, uh, rhymes with a female body part.
Delores: What is it?
Jerry: Mulva?
The Junior Mint Season 4
Amy Anna Gunn Accused of Kissing Cousin Jeffery
JERRY: Wanna get some pizza?
The Glasses Season 5
Laura Marlee Matlin The Deaf Lineswoman
"Bingo!"
The Lip Reader Season 5
Jodi Jennifer Coolidge The Masseuse Who Hates George
"Listen. I massage who I want, when I want. I don't submit to forcible massage. I'm getting out of here."
The Masseuse Season 5
Winona Kimberly Norris The Native American
WINONA: Oh, by the way. That TV Guide I gave you, I need it back.
JERRY: Why?
WINONA: Well, I'm doing a report on minorities in the media, and I wanted to use that interview with Al Roker.
JERRY: Well, it's too late. I gave it to Elaine, and she's already on her way to give it to George's father.
WINONA: Jerry, I really need it back. It, it is mine.
JERRY: You can't give something and then take it back. I mean, what are you...
WINONA: What?
JERRY: A uh, a person that uh...
WINONA: A person that what?
JERRY: Well, a person that gives something and then they're dissatisfied and they wish they had, had never uh...
WINONA: And?
JERRY: ...give, given it to the person that they originally gave it to.
WINONA: You mean like, an Indian giver?!
JERRY: I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term.
Cigar Store Indian Season 5
Jane Jami Gertz Jane… aka Erika
"I'm sorry. I don't have a square to spare. Now if you don't mind."
The Stall Season 5
Audrey Suzanne Snyder Poppy's Niece
AUDREY: Hum! That was really good!
JERRY: Yeah. Are you full?
AUDREY: Oh no, I've had just enough.
JERRY: Here we go... apple pie! Best apple pie in the city. Delicious. I'm not waiting for you. Take some.
AUDREY: No thanks.
JERRY: You're not gonna have any?
AUDREY: No
JERRY: Do you not like apple pie?
AUDREY: No, it's not that.
JERRY: Well, at least taste it.
AUDREY: No!
JERRY: You won't even taste it?
AUDREY: No!
The Pie
The Couch
Season 5
Meryl Courtney Cox Jerry's Pretend Wife
JERRY: Oh...yeah...you've never met my wife, Meryl? Meryl Seinfeld.
CLEANER: Sure, you get the discount, too.
JERRY: You might regret that, because the money my wife spends on clothes...
MERYL: I'm taking him to the cleaners!
The Wife Season 5
Rachel Melanie Smith The Orthodox Jew
"Oh my God! I'm sorry, I thought this was the baby's room. I'm really sorry."
The Raincoats
The Hamptons
Season 5
Karen Marguerite MacIntyre Miss Rhode Island
"My doves! They're dead! I trained those birds for eight years! How am I supposed to do my magic act now?"
The Chaperone Season 6
Margaret Marita Geraghty Newman's Ex-girlfriend
Newman: Oh, chocolates . . . Margaret?
Margaret: Hello.
Jerry: You two know each other?
Newman: You might say that.
Margaret: We used to go out.
Newman: Well, tootle loo. And nice seeing you again Margaret, goodbye Jerry. Have fun. Hehe
Jerry: YOU went out with . . . Newman?
Margaret: Just a few times.
Jerry: Why?
Margaret: I liked him.
Jerry: You liked, Newman?
Margaret: Look I'm a little uncomfortable talking about this okay?
Jerry: No, I'm sorry. I'm just a little curious. I mean why did you stop seeing him.
Margaret: He ended it.
Jerry: HE ended it?
Margaret: YES!! Yes! It was a couple of years ago. Why does it matter?
Jerry: No, no of course not.
The Big Salad Season 6
Kristin Rebecca Staab PBS Girl
Kristin: You got the card I sent?
Jerry: I did.
Kristin: So where is it?
Jerry: What?
Kristin: The card. Is this it in the trash?
Jerry: No?
Kristin: This is my card, you threw it away.
Jerry: Well--
Kristin: I put a lot of thought into this card.
Jerry: You signed your name and you addressed the envelope, it's not like you painted the picture and wrote the poem.
Kristin: Fine. I gotta get back to the office.
Jerry: Why, because I threw the card out? How long was I supposed to save it?
Kristin: You have no sentimentality.
Jerry: I have sentimentality, really, I'm sentimental. Here, look. Here's some cards I've saved, these are birthday cards from my grandmother, see, I'm not a bad guy.
Kristin: Oh, so you save her cards but not mine! Oh great!
The Pledge Drive Season 6
Donna Chang Angela Dohrmann Donna Changstein
JERRY: So I'm curious. What'd you tell Mrs. Costanza that changed her mind?
DONNA: I mentioned a few bits of wisdom from Confucius.
JERRY: Confucius, huh?
DONNA: Yeah.
JERRY: You know, you're not Chinese...
The Chinese Woman Season 6
Katya Elina Lwensohn The Romanian Olympic medalist
"In my country, they speak of a man so virile, so potent, that to spend a night with such a man is to enter a world of such sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as the "Comedian". You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no Comedian."
The Gymnast Season 6
Lois Renee Props Works for Duncan Myers
"You really like to say my name? Don't you?"
The Race Season 6
Sandi Jann Karam The Girl Who Never Laughs
"Huh... That's funny."
The Switch Season 6
Officer Cathy Tierney Katherine LaNasa The Melrose Place Cop
"I think you've seen it."
The Beard Season 6
Shelly Dana Wheeler-Nicholson The Nut Sucker
"Well I didn't know you were gonna eat them?"
The Doodle Season 6
Bridgette Berta Waagfjord One of Jerry's Rendezvous'
Jerry makes out with her at the airport at the end of episode.
The Diplomat Club Season 6
Gennice Adelaide Miller The Crying Understudy
DROPPING HER HOT DOG "Oh no... My frankfurter. My frankfurter fell 'sob sob sob sob' . It was really good. I can't believe that I dropped it. 'sob sob sob sob'"
The Understudy Season 6
Melanie Athena Massey Eats Her Peas One at a Time The Engagement Season 7
Holly Stacey Travis The Mutton Girl
"When we were little girls Grandma Memma would take us to a matinee and then dinner here."
"Everybody like mutton?"
The Wink Season 7
Sheila Alexandra Wentworth Shmoopy
"You called me shmoppy. You're a shmoopy."
The Soup Nazi Season 7
Lena Small Jennifer Guthrie Girl on A.I.D.S. Walk List
LENA: Can you wrap up all the left-overs on the table, please? I always take the left-overs. I work in a soup kitchen every morning at 6 a.m.
JERRY: So, let me ask you something - these people eat soup three times a day?
The Sponge Season 7
Sue Ellen Mishke Brenda Strong The Bra-less Wonder
The Heiress to the O'Henry Candy Bar Fortune
The Caddy Season 7
Christie Lisa Deanne The Black and White Dress
CHRISTIE: I think your friend needs some help over there.
JERRY: You know, the only way to really help her is to just let her be.
The Seven Season 7
Hallie Samantha Smith The Gatsby's
 
The Friars Club Season 7
Nicki Dylan Tays The Girl Who Always Gets Her Way The Calzone Season 7
Beth Lookner Debra Messing I'm Here For You The Wait Out Season 7
Janeane Garofalo Jeannie Steinman Jerry's Perfect Match The Engagement
The Foundation
Season 7 & 8
Pam Kim Myers Bookstore Girl The Soul Mate Season 8
Gillian Kristin Bauer Man Hands The Bizarro Jerry Season 8
Abby A.J. Langer The Protégé The Fatigues Season 8
Ellen Christine Taylor The Unpopular Hottie The Van Buren Boys Season 8
Jenna Kristin Davis Toothbrush in Toilet The Pothole Season 8
Beth Lookner Debra Messing Beth and Arinie
"Not to mention the blacks and the Jews"
The Yada Yada Season 8
Valerie Lauren Graham The Speed Dial Girl The Millennium Season 8
Alex Melinda Clarke The Girl Who Loves Hairless The Muffin Tops Season 8
Lanette Amanda Peet The High Maintenance Girl The Summer of George Season 8
Claire Sarah Peterson Talking Belly Button The Voice Season 9
Patty Lori Loughlin The "Get Mad" Girl The Serenity Now Season 9
Celia Julia Pennington The Toy Girl The Merv Griffin Show Season 9
Sara Marcia Cross Pimple Popper M.D. The Slicer Season 9
Melissa Kathleen McClellan Living-Room Naked The Apology Season 9
Gwen Karen Fineman The Two-Face The Strike Season 9
Keri Jennette Robbins The Carry-All girl The Reverse Peephole Season 9
Sophie Cindy Ambuehl The Tractor Story The Burning Season 9
Lisi Julia Campbell The Sentence Finisher The Frogger Season 9
Cindy Angela Featherstone The Sex Maid The Maid Season 9